So You’re Thinking of Moving to Florida. 15 things……

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It’s been a long cold winter and you’re thinking of packing it in and moving to Florida. You’re not the first and you won’t be the last. Here are a few tips. Things to consider. Things to know. Things to do. And things to not do.

1 – Don’t feed the alligators. Seriously.
2 – It’s hot here. Don’t leave your pets (or your kids or your grandma) in the car.
3 – Each area is unique. Uncle Bernie’s Fort Myers is nothing like cousin Sally’s Ocala. Two different worlds. Visit before you decide.
3 – The shiny new houses are tempting. Consider a rescue. At least think about it.
4 – Get the one with a guest room. You’ll need it.
5 – You’ll miss the cold, eventually, and the process of warming up. Consider a fireplace. You’ll enjoy it when temps drop below 60.
6 – That beautiful green lawn requires lots of maintenance, chemicals and water. Just sayin.
7 – Don’t worry about setting aside an entire day for the DMV. You’ll be in and out in under an hour. For real!
8 – Old people live here. They drive. Allow a few extra minutes to get where you’re going and lay off the freakin horn.
9 – It’s not true about the pizza. There’s no shortage of Tonys down here and we have pizza. Good pizza.
10- Hard buttered rolls are another story. That’s a New York thing. We don’t have em. Try not to act like a big baby about it.
11- Hash browns are different here and that’s okay. Try the grits. They’re good.
12-When you’re new, people invite you to their church. It’s what they do. They’re just being hospitable. Thank them graciously. Go if you want to. Or don’t. The end.
13-Tourists are a good thing. They drive the economy. Be a nice Floridian. Offer to take a group photo, help with directions and steer them toward the little known but great hole in the wall.
14-Prepare to be homesick. That’s part of the deal. Budget in some airfare. You’ll need it.
15-We’ve got lots of yankees. It’s comforting. Still, it’s the south. The southerners were here first. Don’t be a jerk. (As a native New Yorker, I know how we can be)

cheers,

j

In Defense of Monday

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Please don’t hate me because I love Monday.
There I said it. I love Monday.

Look , I realize it’s not a popular day. As a society, collectively, we all hate Monday. Right? No, not all of us. Not me. And I’m not alone. There are others. Individuals and subgroups that secretly, shamefully rejoice as Sunday evening comes to a close. Secretly, yes. Some us even go so far as to click like on the anti Monday cartoons that populate our news feeds as the dreadful day draws near. Why?, I don’t know. Guilt maybe. The desire to fit in. Plus, some of that crap is really funny.

Continue reading

Quitting Booze and Breaking the News to the BFFs

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I was two solid weeks into sobriety when I started breaking the news to my girlfriends. They were shocked. Well, some of them were. Okay, not shocked. Surprised maybe. Well, one of them was. Okay, so maybe she wasn’t surprised. She was disappointed. And a bit sad. At first.

For years I had been a reliable drinking buddy. I could be counted on. It was understood. There would always be booze. Friday night, Saturday night or Wednesday afternoon. Cocktails were part of the friendship. It was understood. We spoke the same language. Continue reading

Geographical Change

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Geographical change. It’s a term that’s familiar to most people on the sober journey.

It refers to something most of us did back in our drinking days. Literally, it refers to a geographical move. Figuratively, the geographical change comes in many forms.

It’s a new town, a new house, a new job, a new lover, a new spouse, a new set of friends, a new haircut, a new car, a new exercise routine, a new wardrobe, a new favorite drink. It’s the phenomena of addressing every single possible problem, except the problem. We change, fix or get rid of all sorts of things before we finally quit the drink. Continue reading

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